New York Times, Friday, March 4, 2022

It came true! First of all, thank you to the New York Times for this incredible honor.

I've spent so many hours in the bathroom mirror practicing what I would say if another puzzle of mine were published. I must acknowledge my fellow constructors this week. Your grids inspire me and I'm privileged to be in your company.

This puzzle would not be possible without my editor Will Shortz. Thank you for seeing something in me that I couldn't see in myself. I'd also like to recognize my very first editor who is sadly no longer with us: Clippy. I still remember the first time I typed "Dear" in a Word document and you popped up to ask, "It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?" I know you're looking down on me now with your steel wire body and huge googly eyes.

To my agents at Hollywood Paws, thank you for taking a chance on a human client.

Of course, I have to thank my amazing wife. What can I say? You stood by me as I received rejection after rejection from The Times because apparently GLUMPERFINKLE is "not a real word nor anything resembling a real word and the editing team is troubled that you keep putting it into your puzzles." Well look at us now!

Oh, it's counting me down.

A few more people I need to thank: Will Smith (not that Will Smith, the other one), Jake from State Farm, the E Street Band, that lady on TikTok who makes the salads, my parents and Oprah. Thank you all for the 70 years and for always dreaming bigger than I would dare.

And, um… please wrap up. Okay.

This is truly the highlight of my Friday and a moment I won't soon top. As "The Hangover Part II" star Mike Tyson once said, "I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

Kids, you can go to bed now.

ESSENTIAL WORKER! Neat to see our pandemic heroes get a shout-out. I also enjoyed the marvelous symmetry of MRS MAISEL and MR SANDMAN. Now that's a show I would watch!

Not as sure I'd tune in for a DOCUSOAP. I get that it's a cross between a documentary and a soap, but I'd be almost as embarrassed to use the term as to admit to watching "Jersey Shore."

I wish there had been more juice packed into the corners — REVERENCE and TREE-LINED are fine entries, but not as jazzy as a Friday calls for. Along with SAD SONGS, REEDITS oddball, and a patch of green MOULD, I had some hesitations. Neat triplet of central Across features, though.